hello this is a broad update about what ive been up to for the first half of 2023

unfunded project updates

RF // REVOLUTION FANTASY

made myself some milestones / an idea of a productionwide schedule.

made side by side in whatever order:

  • proto level
  • proto episode
  • proto arc
  • presentable corner

once above are complete --> demo

at this point, maybe announce, maybe kickstart or fundraise, maybe consider pubs, etc, re-evaluate and orient. then maybe:

  • systems-focused alpha
  • one-arc semi-private beta

re-orient point 2, then maybe:

  • arc 1 public release
  • arc 1 major update
  • arc 2 beta, public, major update, etc, repeat

maybe at all points in the process, but definitely during this early pre-productiony time im in now, i like to keep a broad view and jump around between all sorts of stuff, like, developing the world and story, doing art tests and seeing how the process feels or finding ways to make assets i like and like making, finding the game feel and basic control schema, finding the camera perspective and zoom level, developing the color field and visual tone, etc etc. so im happy with this array of micro <--> macro prototypes to work on all at once. having this small list/plan has helped me feel like i have some perspective, structure, steadiness, while leaving room for the chaotic process i prefer.

been doing lots of character work. trying to develop character looks, movesets, archetypes, and story scenes all simultaneously, so lots of back and forth. style has been developing.

working on characters from a story pov while blocking out arc ideas, major events and tensions, character backgrounds and off-screen relationships or indirect connections. social structure, world premise etc. so some amount of work towards developing that 'proto arc', which will probably be a paper prototype, or a sort of cobbled together plan with significant parts written in detail.

done some environment block in stuff that im pretty happy with. also done some icon/ui overhauls. was building rf in the wildflower project, and that was causing unproductive feelings, so i went and did a pass to tear out all wildflower assets and replace them with rev fantasy lookin stuff. successfully made the project a lot more exciting to have open and motivating to work on.

making big fast moves on combat structure and basic rules. got some stuff thats working together pretty well now i think, though its almost hard to tell bc ive been moving so fast and chaotic that theres all sorts of broken jank piling up haha. but i think this is the right way to be doing it right now. basically prototyping, but working in a living code base bc i dont want to be limited to stuff thats easy to prototype from scratch. late night chilling with the dog outside, opening my phone notes app and jotting down ideas like 'what if all abilities cost at least a tiny amount of spirit, and spirit could only be recovered by resting, so that by exhausting an enemy's spirit you're forcing them to spend their turn resting' and then the next morning after giving it a try writing 'good' next to it (or 'bad' in many cases). mostly, this is showing itself in one or two pretty good-feeling (if youre used to janky prototypes and squint hard) prototype levels. im still feeling out movesets but ive got a pretty good library going of things ive tried out that im mixing and matching and building on.

lots of big aspirational stuff is still untested or underdeveloped and needs to be tested and figured out. feeling someone anxious about 'unit scale' as a concept, which has been pretty much assumed since the start of wildflower. so right now im pushing towards making encounters with bigger enemies. working on one proto level at a sort of 'war front' scale, where each side has large weapons of war, and one proto level with an asymmetric layout, one or two big enemies and a larger number of smaller allies.

no real timeline on any of this stuff. rev fantasy is gonna be a slow backburner project for a while still i think.

been doing a lot of inspiration collection, so here's some of that.

RF-related books i finished last couple months:

other recent readings that have been inspiring to me:

RF-related movies i been watchin:

some recently pinned images, or pictures i took and put in my RF ref folder:

nailgunwaowao / pangchiucowboy The essence of money is … the mediating activity or movement, the human, social act by which man’s products mutually complement one another, is estranged from man and becomes the attribute of money, a material thing outside man. Since man alienates this mediating activity itself, he is active here only as a man who has lost himself and is dehumanised; the relation itself between things, man’s operation with them, becomes the operation of an entity outside man and above man. Owing to this alien mediator – instead of man himself being the mediator for man – man regards his will, his activity and his relation to other men as a power independent of him and them. His slavery, therefore, reaches its peak. It is clear that this mediator now becomes a real God, for the mediator is the real power over what it mediates to me. Its cult becomes an end in itself.

TT // TENDERFOOT TACTICS

doing secret stuff i guess. need to talk about it soon. but have put a lot of time into this. secret. but you can probably guess. but dont guess, and act excited later.

JH // JAGGED HEARTS // AUGUST

stuff is chugging along but there are some struggles. still figuring itself out. ive been taking a backseat on this for the most part, put almost no hours into it jan-jun.

been working on environment art, lighting, and shaders, and enjoying it a lot. working w/ some really great artists doing character art, and its cool to get to collaborate and help make nice final images. making a marshy, floodplain kind of level recently.

seems like a lot of progress has been made on the game but i havent been giving it attention as a player or designer. should do that more. a designer/producer just withdrew from the project, so maybe ill need to step in and contribute more on the design and production sides. bought myself 'a playful production process' and hoping to imbibe and enhance.


werk werk (paid)

GVH // GOODBYE VOLCANO HIGH

7 week, 32 hr/wk contract @ KO_OP has been really great for me (and also necessary financially).

generally not my kind of game, but after a lot of time watching the characters interact while fixing lipsync bugs or whatever, im mega charmed. really lovely writing and art and acting. lots of very cute stuff going on here.

also, theyve been pretty inspirational as coworkers. incredible level of patience, kindness, relaxed attitude at a time that id expect to be insanely stressful anywhere else. no crunching, no drama, no passive aggression. very good people with a good structure around them.

BTRS // SECRET PROJECT

for a year+ been working ~10 hrs/wk on contract with a growing team of really cool people. i think this will be awesome, but idk when itll be public. anyway its been great having the paid work to help support me, plus i love getting to do a lot of really interesting tech art stuff and working with a fantastic artist on it. im not sure if ill ask to be credited as badru on this, so it might end up being sort of disconnected from my other work, but its been fundamental to me doing what im doing, so i thought i should mention it here anyway.


other stuff

my granddad passed away early this year. i loved him a lot and really looked up to him. he was a chemist and someone who knew how everything worked and seemingly could build and repair whatever with confidence. he spent his summers on a relatively secluded piece of island property in the great lakes, which he'd bought for $100 when he was 18, and which by the time i was born had several small cabins, filtered potable water pumped up from the lake, an off-grid electrical system powered by solar, two small but very functional and clean kitchen spaces, a plumbed bathroom and an older outhouse. he retired relatively young and dove into the arts, becoming a sculptor whose work was very inspiring to me and which worked in some of the same themes of chaos, nature, system, pattern, that im drawn to myself, probably largely because of his influence. as he got older and couldnt see as well or get around to his old sculpture studio, he picked up painting and writing. he stayed actively interested in politics and was always excited to talk about them, writing weekly into his local paper. i hope i can live such a rich life surrounded by people who love and respect me. i hope i can live such a long life, full through with creative passion, curiosity, and hope.

ive been noodling around a little bit with music making on a hobby level. ive played music since i was little, but always really privately and usually in a less creative and more cathartic mode. i picked up an old electric guitar i bought myself when i was like 16 working as a movie theater usher and have been trying to figure out how to make goodweird noises on my computer with it, with mixed results. i think mostly this is just for fun, but part of me is also wondering if i can make my own sound and music for games. wildflower ended extraordinarily badly between me and my old musician collaborator and im not sure what im gonna do on rev fantasy. probably find someone else. but maybe itd be fun to just diy it too, idk.

launched a comradery.co page, which is something ive been thinking about and wanting to do since i found out about it. i had a patreon for a while but it never really felt right. i dont like or trust that company, and i didnt like private posts. i took the opportunity w/ my comradery to see how it felt to talk about myself as an explicitly political artist, which is something i want to do more. announcing it was surprisingly stressful, and then surprisingly rewarding and good feeling, once i saw people i like and respect sharing my page with kind words about me and my work.

right now im doing very well, but im still being careful with myself. just focusing my practice on maintaining a steady happiness is primary. having a variety of stuff to work on and people to work with has been helpful towards that, and having rev fantasy as a project im personally deeply invested in has been more important than i had expected. i think i really need a big art project to give my life meaning right now, which is maybe 'unhealthy' but whatever.

politically im at the point where i pretty much believe we need a world revolution, especially in the imperial core, and most especially the states, probably one including civil war. i think we need serious revolutionaries who are willing to do illegal things. im not that person. as a public artist, i want to try to speak truth about the world and encourage those willing to do what needs to be done, but i myself am so publicly visible, and also cowardly and comfort-seeking, that im planning on sticking to stuff that wont get me in trouble with the cops. im using rev fantasy as a focus to learn and develop myself as a theorist and artist. im hoping that my art can help popularize revolutionary theory and historical practice, and can be inspiring and level-raising for those who encounter it. the idea is to refine and grow myself, and to speak honestly, and to hopefully be a general force for good in the world in that way.

at least i hope the games i make are cool and people like them, encounter them in ways that are helpful and good for them.

July 9, 2023