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2022

broke myself down and started putting myself back together

went to therapy

canceled a game

smoked a ton of weed

came to terms with my moral inheritance and my position in the world

resocializing baby steps

half-joined a couple marxist book clubs, attended a few meetings

started working with new people both as a contributor on someone else's collaborative project, and as a contractor. i like working with other people, both ways

started to reinvolve myself, barely, in local dsa

traveled to see my grandparents finally, after several failed attempts pre-pandemic and a long pandemic isolation. this felt like a turning point

nurturing my creative self

painted a good deal

did a lot of self- and group-study around capitalism, colonialism, race, racism, and slavery, marxism, and revolutionary history

inspiration building and early development on nextgame/postwildflower. fully solo on it now, which has meant taking creative responsibility and trying to really seek out what it is i want to make. healthy and important for me right now, i think

learned a lot about the moon in order to implement moon phases for wildflower, and then became sort of obsessed with the moon for the rest of the year. i spent a lot of time standing outside with my dog at night, smoking and staring at the moon. i made 7 moon paintings. you could say i went through a moon phase. actually, i had a similar fixation on clouds at the start of the year, and the sun during the first bit of work on wildflower. now entering my blood era. sun(wands) -> cloud(swords) -> moon(cups) -> blood(pentacles). makes sense too me

2023

i want to host more. i want my home to feel open and welcoming.

i want to connect with people who my life would not normally connect me with.

i want to keep contracting part time.

i want to keep working on nextgame/postwildflower, focusing still on creativity and inspiration.

i want to resettle iwg into its new form, cleaning up our internals to match our postlegal state.

i want to put a game on a console.

i want to paint more, and to play music more.

i want to find more idle pleasures, to indulge in videogames and anime and novels like i did when i was younger.

right now i am enjoying revolutionary girl utena and the peoples history of ideas podcast

January 21, 2023